The Identity Crisis

I never set out to be a mindset coach.

That title reluctantly got given to me by clients I was working with at the gym. I just found it incredibly easy to talk to someone, relate to what they were going through, and be able to persuade them to take a different course of action that would benefit them.

Yet today, I'm proud to say that damn near 100% of clients are signing up because "I love the fact that you talk about mindset when it comes to weight loss" so I identify today as a mindset coach.

I've recently uploaded a TikTok video about breakfast and the majority of people in the comments are complaining that they're "not a breakfast person" and it's hard to say "me neither" while I'm having breakfast every single day.

It took me back to a conversation I had with a client nearly 4 years ago. "Our identity can change in a snap, all you have to do is change your actions and your language."

If you were to pay attention to your language and how you speak to yourself, how many times a day do you think you'd talk yourself out of something by either giving yourself time frames that don't exist or by identifying as the opposite?

- Not right now.
- I'm just not a (morning, gym, active) type of person
- Yeah, maybe one day.

I said in a recent video. "I don't identify as a morning person because I am, I identify as a morning person because I want to be"

I change my identity language before I change my actions. It's just something that I've found has worked for me... Instead of saying "Oh I'd like to go rock climbing one day or maybe next week" I tell myself "I'm starting rock climbing on Saturday"

It takes it from a place of 'Wouldn't that be nice?' into 'Oh shit, I better plan for that.' in which case, action immediately proceeds the language because I've told myself 'I am.'

This is an oversimplified version of how we reach your dream destination.

- Where would you like to go?
- How do we bridge that gap?
- Take action on bridging the gap.
- Re-evaluate bridging the gap process once a month. Repeat.

Where do most people get stuck on this process? Taking action.

Why do people not take action? A myriad of issues, mainly accountability, support, etc. But the big one is there's a mindset block. They don't believe it's possible to achieve what they want.

They start telling themselves why they can't do something, they start identifying as the problem.

"There's something wrong with me"
"Everyone else can do it but I'm so uniquely fucked up that I can't possibly do it. I don't care that there's people in worse positions than me that have achieved more. I'm different"

The one thing that turned my identity language around was someone said "If someone else out there has done it, then they've proved that it's not impossible. So why not me?"

The second thing? "There's a lot of people out there that are stupider, lazier, and less talented than you, that are doing better than you. The only thing they're doing differently is they're taking action on their goals and you're not"

"I can figure this out"
"This is fun, this is easy, I can do this"
"I want this, I'm going to make it happen"
"This is how great stories are made"
"I can't wait to see the look on everyone's faces when I do this"
"I can't wait for this to pay off"
"I can see how all of this is going to be worth it in a year"

Start talking to yourself like you're the coach in any 90's movie and watch how far you can go.